“For though, as we have said, all children are heartless, this is not precisely true of teenagers. Teenage hearts are raw and new, fast and fierce, and they do not know their own strength.” - Catherynne M. Valente

An adolescent straddles a strange place in the world. Not yet an adult, no longer a child. Caught between the security of family, and the exciting world of their peers. Surrounded by influences, tempted by the lure of social media, screens, internet, games, drugs. Pushed from all sides by social pressures to be funny, smart, beautiful, handsome, on trend. Desperate to find a safe place in the often vicious social hierarchy of high school.

It should then come as no surprise to learn that today’s teens experience a similar level of stress and anxiety to that of a psychiatric patient in a 1950’s asylum. A teen’s self-esteem and personal equilibrium is like a shifting ocean caught between the storm and the calm.

Working with a teen is a little like navigating those turbulent seas; calm needs to be created so safe land can be sighted. Each teen is different and requires an individualised approach to best support their ability to find emotional balance.

A couple of thoughts about your teen and counselling:

Many teens have absolutely no one in their life to talk to that they can completely trust. They don’t want to let peers know they’re struggling and they don’t want to worry their parents or friends. They often struggle silently, and they first time you discover they’re struggling is when they start to withdraw and their grades drop.

Most schools have counsellors available. If your teen will see the school counsellor, great. Many won’t though, for various reasons. If this is the case for your teen, what you need before anything else is to find is a counsellor that they connect with.

The first sessions are all about connecting, finding common ground, and building trust. When I work with teens, we don’t just dive straight into unpacking issues. We chat and get to know each other. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we talk about meaningless things, sometimes there are tears. It’s all part of the process.

Your teen will be given tools, strategies and concepts. Explanations of what’s going on, ideas to try… sometimes counselling can be a two step forward, one step back process. It’s a process of working through options until we know what strategy is most helpful.