‘Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing and finding deeper connection.’ – Dr Sue Johnson

 ‘We repeat what we don’t repair.’ – Dr John Gottman

One of my favourite quotes - often misattributed to Einstein - is this: ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’

Often we waste years staying in the same situation, day after day, unhappy and hurting, yet expecting change to miraculously occur by itself.

It’s surprising how many of us do this with the most important and intimate relationship in our life.

A comprehensive University of Utah study on marriage quality discovered that men and women in loveless, sexless or ambivalent marriages consistently post higher blood pressure readings on any given day. They also found that a marital fight that was critical, contemptuous or controlling in tone was as predictive of poor heart health as whether the individual smoked or had high cholesterol.

If you knew how badly it was affecting your physical health, would you continue to settle for what you have?

Relationship counselling can support couples to develop their own strategies to deepen emotional and physical intimacy. Your primary relationship will frame the quality of your mental and physical health now and for years to come. You want it to be healthy, loving and supportive, a representation of your best self.