Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they’re afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. -  Brene Brown

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t made a single page for adults or individuals, instead of separating out men and women… it’s almost as if I’m suggesting we have different counselling needs.

As it happens, we do. Men and women do have different therapeutic needs.

Recent research out of the University of Portsmouth reveals that men aren’t as interested in talking about problems as they are in fixing them. They are less interested in the idea of counselling when they think all that’s going to happen is endless talking – either about the past or their feelings. Men want to know that they’re going to be presented with concrete and useful strategies and solutions.

In my experience men get a lot out of Solution-Focused Therapy, which focuses on using proven techniques to create real and effective change in their day-to-day lives.

Research also tells us that men are more likely to seek help for issues they perceive to be shared by other men. So if you’re a man reading this, it might help to begin with understanding how normal it is for men to experience stress and depression. We place enormous societal expectations on men - expecting them to bear the primary financial responsibility of supporting families through the child-rearing years, have brilliant careers, earn plenty of money, be physically fit, competitive in a work environment – and yet somehow also expect them to be compassionate, helpful and understanding at home. And this isn’t even touching on additional complicating factors such as sexuality, relationship issues, grief, family dynamics and life changes. With this list of everyday stresses, it should come as no surprise that depression and anxiety can occur.

Once engaged in therapy, I find that men are full-throttle forward, active in working for change, interested in results, and willing to ask the hard questions of themselves. I always really enjoy working with my male clients, and appreciate the immense courage it takes to bring them to therapy.